


Wake Me Up Before You Go

by StarfighterCommand



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Dark, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional torment, M/M, Nightmares, Pain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-11
Updated: 2016-02-11
Packaged: 2018-05-19 16:47:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5974528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarfighterCommand/pseuds/StarfighterCommand
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Survivor's guilt is a thing best not faced alone...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wake Me Up Before You Go

_“I’m sorry!”_

_So dark, so cold. Like nothing exists, nothing has ever existed, but himself and the faces. Silent, staring. Accusing. Dark holes where eyes should be in the pale, flickering shadows of people he once touched, once knew and loved._

_“I’m sorry! Please, I’m so sorry!”_

_Silence. Not a word, not a movement, and Tycho Celchu shudders, recoiling back from the apparition of his family, his friends, feeling small and helpless under the unforgiving glares. It’s like being shot with a thousand blaster bolts at once, pierced through and scalded and seared and dying but unable to actually die…_

_“Mother, Father! Nyiestra, please! Say something! Anything! I can’t...I didn’t know...how could I have known? I’m sorry!”_

_No response, and Tycho stumbles, turning to run--_

_More faces behind him. People he knew, even in passing. Strangers beside him, surrounding him. More and more of them; exposed to the censure, the dispassionate judgement of an entire planet that he’d once called home. Tycho’s legs give way beneath him, and he falls to his knees._

_“Please...Force, please...just tell me what you want! What you need me to say! I can’t...I can’t…!” He curls forward, clutching at his stomach, trying to stop the pain. “I didn’t know you were dead! I would have mourned you sooner...I wouldn’t have gone on…”_

_They’re closing in, looming over him, and still there’s not a sound save for Tycho’s own heartbeat, loud in his ears, pounding with his fear and shame and agony and he just wants it to--_

_“STOP!” He screams and then whimpers, falling onto his side, twisted into himself, his face hidden in his hands. “Please...please stop! I didn’t mean to live! I should have been home, with you! I should have...I’m sorry...I’m so sorry…!”_

_“Tycho…?”_

_Did he hear that? Is the voice real? Is anything real, anymore? He doesn’t dare uncurl, doesn’t dare look. He’s so cold; they’re touching him now, pulling the life from his body, ripping out pieces of his soul, leaving him bleeding, torn apart, exposed…_

_“Tycho!”_

_Something warm, something bright, cuts through the pall and the ice over Tycho. He can still hear a heartbeat, but it’s not--can’t be--his own; it had stilled at the touch of those dead, frigid hands. The sound is comfort, salvation a hairsbreadth out of reach...he can almost feel...if he could just…_

_...ju _st...__

__…_ _

__“Tycho, wake _up_!” _ _

__Lungs burning, Tycho sucked in a gasping, desperate breath as his eyes snapped open. Everything was unfocused, blurry--his mind was still trying to drag him back down into the depths of the nightmare and he whimpered, reaching out reflexively, clawing for something, anything to hold on to…_ _

__Arms surrounded him, steadied him, pulled him away from the cold and the dark and the awful, lingering fear. A hand threaded through his hair and pressed his head against warmth, solidity. Shaking, Tycho clung to the body beside him, desperately basking in the life that had brought him back to reality._ _

__If only the pain and the memories could be turned off as easily._ _

__“Wedge...didn’t mean to...wake you…” Tycho realized his fingers were digging into Wedge’s back hard enough to bruise but he couldn’t seem to let go._ _

__“It’s okay. I’m glad you did,” Wedge’s voice was quiet in that way he had when he was trying to keep emotion out of it. Tycho realized Wedge’s heart was beating nearly as fast as his own, that he was shivering, too, “I’m glad.”_ _

__“Wedge…?” _He must have been having one of his own nightmares_ , Tycho thought, relaxing his grip on Wedge into something more comforting, soothing, letting his concern for his lover overwhelm his own anxiety. _ _

__“You...you stopped breathing...” Wedge’s voice was muffled, now, by Tycho’s hair. He’d buried his face in it, and Tycho felt his breath, harsh and fast, felt the way his arms tightened fearfully, “I didn’t...I didn’t know what to do. I…”_ _

__“Shhhhh.” Kriff, they were a wreck. Tycho stroked his hands up and down Wedge’s back, trying to calm them both. “That...that happens sometimes, when the dreams are...really bad. It’s never for long. I should have warned you. I’m sorry, Wedge.”_ _

__“No! Don’t say that! You don’t ever have to…!” Wedge cut himself off, swallowed hard. “That’s all you said, in your sleep. Over and over. You don’t need to say it to me, ever. There’s nothing you could ever do that I can’t forgive you for.”_ _

__“You shouldn’t say that,” Tycho choked out, eyes closed, “You can’t know that. No one can--Sithspit, listen to us. We’re not helping each other here at all.” He laughed weakly, and pulled back to look at Wedge. “It was just a dream. We’re here. We’re okay.”_ _

__“Y-yeah.” Wedge managed a small smile in return, and rested his forehead against Tycho’s. “We’re okay.”_ _

__A soft kiss, and then another; warmer, deeper. Tycho felt the last chill of the dream melt away in the heat of Wedge’s embrace, let himself get lost in the flood of sensation as they reassured each other in the easiest way they knew how. And after, laying tangled together, Tycho found sleep came easily._ _

__And without dreams._ _


End file.
